When using mechjeb's ascent module (and possibly other modules), the radial decouplers will use a default ejection force (near zero) regardless of whatever value is input into the part.cfg file. If you set the force to 20,000 (very high), the auto-stage during the ascent will just detach the decouplers without any increase in force. However, if you disable the ascent module and manually transition through stages, the decouplers will then use the user-modified force level.